Perspective

Perspective

To Be Continued

Well blogging world it is exactly 2:50 am. How am I awake you ask well I'm back on midnights which means I don't sleep like a normal person. So for the post instead of telling you what adventures I had and what went on for the week, I'm continuing my story that I started a couple of weeks ago. (Clears throat..) And so the boy was set to leave in June. From that moment on the boy and girl spent all their time together. Had countless movie nights and late night Taco Bell runs. Then the day came for her to graduate. So she did and after graduation she had a cookout for her family he came with his best friend. The girl and boy pretended like nothing was happening avoided the topic of conversation that they both knew was coming all to soon. He came back later they hung out and when he left plans were made to meet in the morning. She woke up that morning scared to death broke out into tears from the moment she opened her eyes. So she woke up got dressed and prepared for the day ahead. She received a text from him not long after she awoke saying he would be there. She couldn't look at him when he arrived. She let him in and instantly walked the other way saying she had to grab something for the first goodbye was coming. He hugged her mom and she listened from the other room as her mom told him to be safe. And so then they were off. There wasn't much talking in the car. They both understood each other as they sat in the back seat, he grabbed her hand and both knew no words needed to be said. They stopped at his grandmas before heading to place where goodbye would take place. She watched as more goodbyes came and still he remained so strong. Finally they reached the spot and they all got out of the car knowing what was a minute closer to happening. There were a few small things that happened in that short period of time and then it was really time. Time to say goodbye she let his parents go first again avoiding what she didn't want to happen. Then it was her turn and she broke. The tears didn't stop that day. She would pull herself together and then fall right back apart. She did know however that she had things to look forward to like possible phone calls, letters, and his Graduation. From that day on she wrote to him everyday. When she received the first letter she was ecstatic. The excitement never changed and it built as the days wore off and it was one step closer to seeing him Graduate. She went in August a few days before her first year of college to see him Graduate with his parents. They drove the whole way filling the car with so many conversations. The night they arrived she missed a phone call. She waited by her phone and sure enough it rang again. It was him. The next day bright and early they all woke up and waited in the bleachers to see him and what he had become, a soldier. They looked and looked and it was so hard to spot him. Finally when the family and friends were finally let out of the bleachers to see their loved ones she was the one that spotted him and pointed him out. They got to him and the girl felt very shy and had no idea how to act (A feeling that would always accompany her when she was waiting to see him). All she remembers is him asking "Are you alright?" and then them hugging. That day was filled with laughter and love and so was the next until they all had to say goodbye. It was avoided again until that very minute and the girl received a kiss that she thought would never end. They left but she had something to look forward to him coming home in a couple months. And so as time went on the boy went to training in Arizona they skyped every night. Called each other and sent goodmorning and goodnight texts. Things were rough but anytime he came home she was there. Everytime it was like no time had been lost. The boy's training ended and he was sent to Germany where he currently is. They had more then one breakup in that time and things continued to get more rough. He doesn't know when he will be home next two three years. She has school she couldn't leave and just move to Germany. Two different paths. And although there are some huge details missing in this story the girl finally is starting to get it.
He loves her and she loves him but being in another country with out physical contact without knowing when he will be home next it can't work. He was the type who wouldn't want to hold her back. However he wouldn't want to see or hear her upset. She realized that although crying was her way of dealing it probably made things worse in other ways. When your in the Army it comes first and you follow what they say. If the army tells you you're going to be there longer then planned then you don't argue with the Army. You follow their orders no matter what no matter what you're feeling because in the Army there are no feelings and you have to eventually train yourself not to care or atleast train yourself into thinking so. When you join the Army you become the Army. (Please don't misunderstand this as me saying the Army is a bad thing, I'm not. I support each and everyone of the men and women who fight for our country. They are probably some of the strongest people I know.  I thank them for my freedom.) Even through all the bad the girl still loves the boy and although she doesn't know what he wants or if it will all work out she knows that she loves him enough that she wants him to be happy as well as herself.

My apologies

Now because it is now Sunday and I promised to post of Tuesday well I'm sorry about that. (P.s. this is gonna have to be kinda short for now)So on to other things, I finally got my tattoo. I love it! Not going to lie it was easily one of the worst pain I've ever felt. Luckily I didn't cry I was a champ! So after 2 hrs this is what I had...Maybe I'll get a better picture after it heals that way you can see the color.

10 Things I Hate about You

I hate the way you talk to me, 

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car, 

I hate it when you stare. 

I hate your big dumb combat boots 

and the way you read my mind. 

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme. 

I hate the way you’re always right, 

I hate it when you lie. 

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry. 

I hate it when you’re not around, 

and the fact that you didn’t call. 

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, 

not even close…

not even a little bit… 

not even at all. 

Change is a good thing

Remember that change I was mentioning in my last post? Well its evident that it is in fact present. Today I went to the tattoo shop and when I walked out I was surprised at how confident I had answered their questions. When they asked "When would you like to do it?" I replied with "When is the soonest I can?" Yeah and so I go Tuesday to get my first tattoo and I am super nervous and yet excited.  So until Tuesday, See ya!

Eventful?..check yes

This week/weekend has been full of nothing but events and so I decided why not blog about them.
Starting the list at number 1 (lets get the not so hot stuff out of the way first)..Lately My health hasn't been up to par. I've lost some weight(how I have no idea, it's been a really touchy subject.) My coworkers and others have commented on it and one went as far as to ask me if I was anorexic. This is something I don't handle well, I never have. Freshmen year, I was really thin just from going through normal bodily changes and I was asked this question frequently. Let's just say it didn't help my self esteem and when asked that again, it kinda cut deep. I've been having issues with my stomach. The other day It was cramping horribly and it made me sick to my stomach. I was told to stop taking the antibiotic that I was on and that the severe pain would go away in a few days. That was Monday it's now Saturday. So the doctor is going to be receiving another call asap. Anyone have any de-stressing tips?

On a more happy note my cousin's wedding was today. It was beautiful, the wedding was small and intimate, with only immediate family.  The reception was wonderful. The couples first dance started off slow and then out of now where they busted out dancing to some more crazy up beat songs. While watching the dance, I just kept thinking, OMG at my wedding that is so happening! How wonderful of an event it is to find someone who completes you. Not just some of you but all of you. Someone who can see you at your worst and yet still love you, all of you. It is that kind of love that I want and I think deserve(everyone does) in my life.

Lately I find myself growing as a person. Maybe that sounded odd but the more I think about it the more I find it to be completely true. I find myself becoming stronger in situations. I find myself not crying over everything but just the things that need to be cried over (if that makes any sense). I also find myself standing up for myself, saying things a year ago I wouldn't have said. Things I would have been to intimidated to say. The last thing I found myself doing specifically this weekend. Being spontaneous. This spontaneous moment is going to happen tomorrow when I am supposed to be talking to someone about doing my tattoo...(Which I know some people won't be happy about but Ugly Truth moment, you can't please everyone. In most situations you shouldn't please everyone you should please yourself. Be happy.Be you.)

Now because it's 11 and I'm still trying to get off my midnight shift sleeping habits I'm off to bed. I apologize for the grammatical errors, On my road to becoming a teacher maybe one day I'll take it upon myself to practice re-correcting all of my blog entries.
Goodnight blogging world.

Do you ever feel like you're a noodle in God's soup?

Hello again Bloggers,
 So after rereading my last post I realized there were a lot of grammatical errors.EEK please forgive me. So on this lovely Saturday I'm currently stuck inside. I would love to be soaking up the sun in my pool but currently I must stay out of the sun..Booo. But I refuse to let that ruin my week. Referring back to my last post I don't think its time to tell you more of the story. Don't worry all in good time I will tho..soon. So let's recap on my week. Hmmm Let's see I received an apology, one that frankly I wasn't expecting and am glad it was said(although it wasn't said to my face and just in a message) I still appreciated it. However after this apology I feel like I'm back at square one. That's about the major things going on besides work. Good news I spotted my dad looking at puppies online twice this week.  My friends came over last weekend and it was seriously what I needed. While hanging out with my friends, one asked the question, "Frankie, do you ever feel like you're just a noodle in God's soup." and my reply was "uhm well I never thought of it like that."  Of course she continued with, "I always wondered what soup he had like is it Chicken Noodle? Vegetable?" then we laughed at the ridiculous things she was saying because neither of us are super religious. I guess when I thought about it she could be right maybe we are all just like some noodle in a higher power's soup. This week I have also decided I want a tattoo and my sisters must drive me to the shop and I'm sure they are gonna have to drag me out of the car when we get there. I'm super scared, I know it will hurt like a few choice words that are not lady like to say(It's the worst spot to get a tattoo pain wise). I'm getting it on my side. People are telling me to do something small and then get the one I want later. Here's the problem I don't want anything else and having it on my side is the best place for me because it can be hidden. I'll have to blog on my experience when it happens here's my thought on it. 1. You only live once 2.When I'm 75 it won't matter I'll be wrinkly anyhow and possibly fat, so why care. 3. I don't drink or do drugs and if this is the "first bad thing" I've done and I'm almost 20 I think I'm doing pretty darn good.
Well Bloggers I'm sure your tired of my ramblings so Have a great day!
p.s. Anyone have a Nook? I'm really thinking of getting one but I can't decide

A story..

It all started with a cupcake and a trip to Washington D.C. So starting the story from the beginning it happened to be pie day 3.14 of junior year. The students were told to bring in a circular dish or dessert. One girl happened to bring cupcakes. It wasn't long into the class when another class snuck in and took some desserts. A cupcake happened to be taken, by a boy. He raved about these cupcakes even so much as to say this over the loud speaker when he did the morning announcements " Come see Little Shop of Horrors this weekend. I hear (insert girl's name here) is a sexy nurse and if she can dance like she can make cupcakes it's sure to be a hit." And so from that point a simple message on myspace to the girl saying how he had heard how embarrassed she that morning was sent. Later fate would make their paths cross again, this time on a class trip to Washington D.C. The trip was a week or two and maybe two days into the trip the boy had become the girl's walking buddy. He got up enough courage when everyone was waiting in a line to go into Ford's theater, to stop his teacher in the middle of his sentence saying, "Hold on one minute," walked over to the girl and asked for her phone number. The teacher replied with "Nice." From that point the girl and boy constantly sent texts throughout the trip. When the trip was over they started hanging out,went to prom together, and eventually started dating. Everything was grand a fight here or there but most nights were filled with going out to dinner, having a night in watching movies, playing some video games. Then one day in January the boy came to the girl's house with papers. Papers that needed to be decided to be signed or not papers to join the US Army. He wanted her opinion and all she could do was cry. He told her it would be okay and that right now it was just a thought. So they went on and he eventually signed the papers and had to report to memphs to actually make a full commitment. That night the boy text her throughout the night asking what he should do if he should sign the papers or not. As much as she wanted to say no she couldn't she knew that there was a chance they wouldn't be together in the future and if that happened she didn't want to hold him back. She didn't tell him yes and she didn't tell him no. She said she would support him either way. When he came back the next day he pulled out a card that showed he had enlisted. I don't know what the girl's reaction was, other then she still couldn't believe he actually did it. He was set to leave in June the day after she Graduated.
And blogging world this story will have to be continued bc this girl has to get to work.

growl.bark.growl.

After a long weekend of being busy, I'm pooped and not wanting to go to work later tonight.  I can feel my pessimistic side kicking in and to stop it I've decided I will list three things that have made me feel good today.
1. My hair is looking pretty darn good today.
2.I love my outfit today it makes me feel confident.
3.And this one although didn't happen today happened this weekend.. I received the compliment of being smart,cute, and creative.
 This is probably the most boring post ever but all well It's just me(which means it's not to boring) and being me is all I can be!:)

You are my Sunshine...My Only Sunshine

You know that saying...when it rains it pours, well thats exactly how I feel like the past 2 weeks have been for me. Recently my dog has been acting odd I guess you could say. I won't go into detail with what has been happening because it's something know one wants details about. Let's just say it ended up yesterday she went to the vet and had to have surgery. My dad was to call the vet today and pick her up and see how she was doing. Well he called, she wasn't doing well. Apparently he called again and she really wasn't doing well still. I had went shopping came back home and my dad told me she wasn't coming home. I find myself sad, I didn't think I was capable of crying anymore this week but apparently i am. Now she wasn't really my dog we got her back in fifth grade and I wasn't able to go pick her out. I know I'm sad because I will miss her, I mean although she wasn't mine she part of the family and I'll miss her sleeping in my room and hearing her collar jangle as she walked down the hallway in the morning. I think I'm also upset because I've been rather cranky with my dad today and when he told me she wasn't coming home the look of being lost was written all over his face and I didn't know how to respond. Ugh and well if you haven't guessed it the Ugly Truth of the day is things die figuratively and literally. On a more brighter note I was talking to someone who I went to school with and hadn't talked to since junior year because he had moved. We were just catching up and talking about all random sorts of things. And while talking (bet you can guess what one topic of conversation was) he said this "you never know what can happen, that's the thing about love it's really unexpected." And although I swear he quoted that from some movie or song, he was totally right. I have come to realize that although it may not feel like it now and I can feel my heart saying, "Don't you dare open up to anyone for a while. Don't you dare chance going through heart break again." love will find its way back in to my heart, yes I may go through some more heart ache and complete confusion, but thats life and you have to let it take its course. Do I still love my ex..yes and he told me he still loves me the problem is there is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I guess my point is at one point I'm gonna have to risk it all...again.. and it may not be right away but that happiness and love will find its way into my life, I have to believe that.
RIP Kristy Love Sunshine <3

Sadly..

Today this is how I'm feeling.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”-Neil Gaiman
But don't worry I see the sun on the horizon;)

Going? Staying?

 I'm pretty sure I posted this picture before but it is exactly right, an Ugly truth that maybe when you think about it ends up not being so ugly.

My ending quote, one from Chris Rock "If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love."

Inspiration for the day

"I have faith that God will show you the answer. But you have to understand that sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize what God wants you to do. That's how it often is. God's voice is usually nothing more than a whisper, and you have to listen very carefully to hear it. But other times, in those rarest of moments, the answer is obvious and rings as loud as a church bell." 
-Nicholas Sparks: The Last Song

Symbolism at it's finest

(I will admit I took this off FB but i got right off
and didn't bother looking in my news feed)

Hello blogging world we meet again. And that could become more frequent in at least these next two days. With everything going on  I decided it be best to take a few days away from Facebook, to hold true to this I need to find something to keep my attention. I'm not sure if it's because of the things going on that while reflecting this weekend I see symbolism in everything I do or if its just fate. So let's recap. I'll finally just say it.. a relationship is finally over and it's not easy for me, I don't know what exactly to think or feel.  It was big, one day maybe I'll share the relationship with the blogging world because when it was good it was more then good. So last night bored out of my mind and trying to stay busy I text some friends and made plans. Hanging out with one friend turned into hanging out with two more. We went to the Relay For Life, took a few laps (somehow I spotted luminaries for my grandparents out of everyone), shared a few laughs, and gossiped of course and headed back to my friend's house. The plan was to play Just Dance and then my OSU Party friend brought out a game that she had played at school. It's called Quelf and can I just say BEST game ever. Now I don't really know how to explain this game other then you draw cards (there are like 5 different kinds with different categories) and you simply do what the card says..sounds boring but let me tell you I had to talk in a Darth Vader voice every time it was my friend's turn talking about the dark side, I did a belly dance. Had my hair messed up by all my friend's(of course they got to move spots if they messed it up), and had fun. Now this is my second encounter with symbolism this weekend because normally I wouldn't just let go like that and act crazy, I mean I have fun with my friends all the time but i never act this crazy. It's safe to say I had fun.
After getting home after 2 am I was pooped and yet I don't think I slept at all last night I was up at 6:30 and laid there going over everything that had happened the past few days..the past two years. And I cried. Like a baby actually. The past couple of days I've been urged not to cry and I've been holding it back a lot. This is why my first Ugly Truth comes that crying may look ugly and sound it (we all know that uuuuhhhh sound and shiver your body gets when you're trying to stop crying but you can't because you're crying so hard.) but it's totally ok and human to do. So after laying in bed crying for what seemed like a very long time I decided I needed to get up and do something. I got up, put some shorts on, grabbed my old ipod with old music I had from before this relationship and headed to the reservoir. It looked like it was going to storm but it was nice and breezy and i needed out.  In a way I guess it did storm because while I was there I think I let out every emotion that I had been feeling the past few days. You name it I probably felt it. And so in a way it did rain. While running/ walking a few things happened.
1. Every single person I passed while running or walking, said hello or good morning even if they had music in, which made my day.
2. Every song seemed to have some form of symbolism. Here's what played:
 a. Dangerous- Akon. (Seemed so fitting for this girl who started out walking/running the reservoir with a mission)
b.All Around me-Flyleaf (Need I explain this)
c. All over you-Spill Canvas
d.Almost lover-Fine Frenzy
3. I even felt fear and running from it. At one point I passed a flock of Geese. They were hissing. I ran like the wind enough said.
4. When I got into my car I heard this song...
"Love Don't Run"-Steve Holy
This is gonna hurt, this is gonna hurt like hell
This is gonna damn near kill me, sometimes the truth aint easy
I know that you’re scared of telling me something
I don’t wanna hear, but baby believe that
I’m not leaving, you couldn’t give me one good reason


yeah and after that I bawled and then Somewhere with You came on by Kenny Chesney. I don't exactly know what all of this means I'm still confused and still hurt(another Ugly truth) but I know that in the end it will be ok, if it's not ok it's not the end. I am refusing to accept anything less for myself

Ain't sunshine..

For the past couple of days my pessimistic side has been reappearing. When someone you love walks out of your life its never an easy thing or a good feeling. From my last post it was clear that someone in my life has taken that step and all I could think was they are completely gone. This person has said that they want to still be friends but my problem "lies"(fear) in going from lover to friend. I was mad and angry at this person and I have been taking personal stabs at them with things I knew would upset them. Unfortunately, I got the stabs right back. I'm not saying what I did was by any means right because it wasn't I realize I acted kinda like a bully in this situation. I apologize to that person for acting immature in a situation that maybe they were trying to make easier? However I know there are things that happened that should make the roles reverse. I've learned a lot from this and maybe the not so Ugly truth is that when someone walks out of your life or part way out it only makes you stronger. Lately I've learned that things happen for a reason and although the reason may not be clear it will become that way. I've also learned that people change and this is a big one. They may change in ways you see and ways you can't exactly see. Don't put the blinders on, listen and really watch what they are saying. And all my blogger friends enough about my situation I stumbled upon this and loved it, if this doesn't make you smile I don't know what will
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1GiTJu/ellen.warnerbros.com/2011/05/sadie_and_a_baby_0524.php

letting go.

Lately I have found myself not wanting to blog due to other distractions. A lot has been going on in the past week or so and I'm learning one of life's ugly truths. People walk in and out of your life. Now I've never been good at this type of situation, it seems to happen often in my life. Now i find a certain person walking out of my life and truth be told I don't know how to feel or act. I don't know if I'm supposed to run after them or watch them go. Because this hasn't been the first time this has happened I find myself thinking don't run after them if they were meant to be in your life they will find a way back into it. And so blogger friends heres my advice with this ugly truth as hard as it is to swallow. Let it go. If it was meant to be there it will find its way back and either way happiness will come back into your life. It may not be that exact minute because it will hurt for a while but happiness will come and when it does you'll know it.

Inspiration

So since it has been days since I last updated this i thought I would quickly give some inspiration because frankly I need it and I'm sure someone else out there does too..
‎"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." 
— Marilyn Monroe

(Image found on google)

And here's to posting more post soon!

Scarred for life

Absolutely love this one!!!

So since my last post was unlegit because the internet pooped in the middle of the post, then I couldn't remember everything I had to say, here's a legit post on what seems to be on my mind a lot lately. Tattoos. I've never really been a fan of them, I've always thought why in the world would you do that to yourself? Then here I find myself thinking I want one.  Of course my thought of having one isn't one thats small it's one that could honestly be quite large. I find myself wanting one that goes up my side. EEKK! When I think about it, I find it to be a logical place on my side-going to be a teacher..can be hidden. The inner girl in me shrieks "don't do it, don't! PAIN PAIN PAIN" and yet I don't know if it's my age but I find another part of myself screaming "You only live once." So thinking more about this I brought the topic up to my mom, I laughed as I asked her because I was expecting the "don't do that, it will hurt," logical talk that mothers give. Instead her reply was "That would be cute, and you could hide it easily." Which not gonna lie kinda made me want it all the more.  So as I sit and ponder and will probably still be pondering the idea  a year from now I'm pretty sure if I ever get it the Ugly Truth will be beauty is pain. hahaha So the ? is what to do.

This neat but not for me too big

The post with a random title

This is actually from the other day when my internet suddenly stopped working..
Since I haven't blogged in a while and since i do have an interesting post to post about later but have no time, seeing how work calls in about 45 mins. I decided I would do a quick list of things I love and things I want.Ready Set GO!

1. I love Disney which is why... I want to be a Disney princess..yep I said it and I would be a great Disney princess... I have dark hair (perfect Belle? I think so! I love the color yellow..<same as her dress..> or Pocahontas, or I could pull off Giselle from Enchanted.."How does she know" yeah thats right not to toot my own horn but I can be a beast at that song and the little movements, Just ask my family.

2. My family has bets or did that when I am off and on my own I would pick a big city..New York City perhaps?? Well in that case.. Hello Sex and the City. I would love the box set of all the seasons plus the 2 movies.

3. My bracelet that one day I would loved for it to be filled.(Each bead meaning something different) I love the sparklyness (is that a word?) of it. It's sooo me:)

After coming to this post after not having internet for 2 days (eek) I have decided I love the internet it's what keeps me connected to the major thing I love: My family and friends.
As it approaches 11:15 p.m. and having taken a Benadryl to help an allergic reaction I have decided I must post a more legit post later.

"What's happening?" "Oh you know that thing called life"

Since it has been forever and a day since I have posted something I decided tonight would be the perfect opportunity. Let's just start off with what has been happening lately. Work has been happening, it has been kicking my butt. Being to work by 6:30am is a little crappy at times but it's not too bad. I can't complain, it's a job, and I'm fortunate enough to have one. I work in a factory that produces rubber for flooring. Roppe Rubber. I work in the lab and basically test everything that could possibly be tested on the rubber when it comes out of production(a large majority focuses on making sure its color is correct). Yes, I do love the random orders of tropical blue and lime green. Besides working an 8 hour work day, I have been trying to get sick (again..:( I think its sinus this time). Aside from that I've been a lame and going to bed early but today although I did babysit I took a day to semi- relax. Yesterday I ran on the treadmill for 20 mins straight, some don't see that as a big accomplishment but I do(and I can def feel it today). Today consisted of: buying myself the new Cosmopolitan magazine,watching the movie Kick-Ass (which was pretty good by the way), skyping, and eating sour gummy worms.
Lately I've realized from not only my own situations but friends that some situations you just can't control. Not being able to control these situations, is called life. And the ugly truth is, most of the time it sucks. You can't change people's minds sometimes, you can't understand what they are thinking or why they act the way you do. You can't control them. Trying to do this can only make the situation worse. Believe me I know. Being the anal person that I am, not being in control in current situations in my life is frustrating and exhausting. I have always been able to control what's going on in my life and the truth is I can't at this time. But I'm trying this new thing of being patient (and yes I'm the hopeless romantic optimistic person) but I can't help but think maybe in the end everything will work itself out the way its supposed to.
And because I watched the last episode of SATC last night and Carrie finally got what she deserved and had been wanting, her BIG problem came and rescued her and it worked out the way we had all hoped.

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”- SATC
(Image found on Google)

(P)eace

Taking back my more pessimistic post from earlier today...heres a new one. I tend to have a tendency to over react every once in awhile. I guess what  it comes down to is a lot of the people who are close to me don't realize how much the little things in life mean to me. I've learned in the past year that you can't always get what you want. I have learned that you must go with the flow sometimes and not ask questions. What people tend to forget is sometimes the little things mean a whole lot more then the big, or what seem to be glamorous portions of life. I get frustrated when people who say they will hangout cancel at the very last second every time it's planned due to some "excuse" I understand that things come up but to cancel all the time when your supposed to be there. I don't appreciate it. I get frustrated with how certain words are now thrown around. If you say something meaningful mean it and stick by it. If you don't mean it thats fine, but don't say it. I understand todays world is not pretty and people are struggling. Crap happens. LIFE HAPPENS. Here's a thought.. take a small amount of time to praise someone or say something to make someone feel good (& mean it of course). Some people don't get enough of that and it's sad. Compliments make people feel good, an acknowledgement such as a smile make people feel good. Life happens but while it happens you should take the small things that come with it and be grateful for them.  The small things matter. Atleast they do to me, if you're my friend and reading this here's something. I appreciate you being in my life. You have impacted my life in some way and it has made me me and I appreciate that.

‎"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." 
— Marilyn Monroe

Doubt.Down.Done.

After sitting here thinking I've realized there is one word that causes a lot of problems in life...doubt. Currently this seems to be an underlying factor in my life. Its every where involving everything. People doubt me all the time in so many situations. Here's the thing.. doubt me all you want. But know your wrong. Know that I am stronger then you think. Know that put to a test I will succeed. ... If you have no idea what I'm talking about with doubt well I believe you are lying to yourself heres the definition:
1 [ trans. ] feel uncertain about : I doubt my ability to do the job.• question the truth or fact of (something) : who can doubt the value of these services? | [with clause ] I doubt if anyone slept that night.• disbelieve (a person or their word) : I have no reason to doubt him.• [ intrans. ] feel uncertain, esp. about one's religious beliefs.2 [with clause ] archaic fear; be afraid of : I doubt not your contradictions.
Here's my doubts:I doubt I will ever get over this.I doubt they trust me.I doubt that things will be better for a long time.Do I have reason to doubt these things? Yeah that about covers it an unbreakable cycle of doubt but..

(found on google)

Someone tell me, do I give up on all my doubts together or still fight for them?

Music=life

Since I promised a legit post I thought I would do it quick before going to hangout with some friends. Btw, I did end up working out. I did a section of the workout video for abs and core (not so sure it was legit...guess we will find out after I use it more. It did have good stretches tho.) I also got on the treadmill and walked at a faster pace for 20 minutes. You have to start somewhere right? Anyway thinking about what I could blog about I've decided on songs that will sure to be a hit this summer....and if not for you then for me at least
10. On the Floor- Jennifer Lopez ( Not sure this is a favorite song of mine but everytime I hear it I want to dance and I can't dance which is saying something.
9. Just can't get enough- Black Eyed Peas.. I personally love this song
8.Rhythm of love - Plain White T's- I know this is an older song but it makes me happy. I picture moving my head back and fourth on a hot summer day while swinging.
7. Till the World Ends.. It's Britney B*tches hahaaha plus it features Nicki Minaj and Kesha
6.The Lazy Song -Bruno Mars. Who doesn't love a lazy summer day in the sun?
5. ET-Katy Perry & Kanye
4. The Show goes on-Lupe Fiasco. This is one of my personal faves.
3. My number three spot will be filled by The Script.. love them!
2. Lady Gaga of course. Her music whether ridiculous or not is catchy and i love it.
1. Bow Chicka Wow Wow- Mike Posner feat. Lil Wayne. 
If my list were longer I would have added so many other songs. Because I'm about to head out tho I decided to keep it short. What are some songs you would add to your summer playlist?

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It's Saturday night and I haven't done a darn thing all day. When I woke up this morning I debated getting on the treadmill. Did I ever make it there? NO.. Which is disappointing. However I do plan to do a video workout (as cheesy as that sounds before I go to bed.. Hey its something right?)  Currently I'm sitting here watching the Green Hornet with my dad and thinking about things. Thats nothing new.  Here are my thoughts in what will probably be a jumbled mess that makes no sense to you at all.
-When do you know when things are done? Now I'm not talking like when a turkey is done, I mean when do you know when situations with people are done? When do you finally announce that "it's done."  this thought has come from thinking about a friend's situation
-I miss things today.. a whole lot actually. I've been away from AU for what 2-3 days and I miss the people there. I miss other people and places as well.
- I've decided that I want a love that will last a lifetime. I saw an article on Yahoo today about an old couple it made me smile and sad at the same time.
-Along with that I stumbled across this when I was on Youtube today Dad and daughter duet . Watching it made me smile. That girl is adorable, I can only hope that one day when I'm older (way older) I can have a kid as cute as that. A husband with a good voice would also be a nice addition.

And because you bloggers are probably tired of reading this random post I've decided that I'm done rambling and will blog a legit post later!

It's Friday!

It's Friday and just because I am pumped to get my new Macbook case from Amazon in the mail (nerd?.. yes I know) and because we all could use a little inspiration throughout the day here's mine:
(Here's a picture I found on Google, under an article called 13 ways to find your blog inspiration.. pretty fitting right?)

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away." -Sex and the City

Time's are a changin'

Procrastinating is what I do best lately. After studying all day, my brain is fried. I told myself I would not post this post until it was the end-until it was Wednesday. However sitting in my friends room chillin I've decided why not. By the end I mean the end of my first year  of college being done. What a crazy roller coaster ride this has been. Finishing my first year of college I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. This year has flown by and  I can only image what the next three years will be like. I'm one step closer to big girl world. But I figure when that time comes I will embrace it with one big smile on my face and shout "Hhhheeeellllooooo world!" So since my first year is done there are many things I have learned along the way.
1. You can't always get what you want. - This was shown through me day in and day out from the beginning of the semester. Example one: I missed the Dean's list by.1, yes for me being the grade oriented person I am, it sucked and still does but the Dean's list is not the most important thing in life.
2. You will run into those "oh its you" type of people-I realize this sounds very uhm how do I put this... judgmental. But in college or this stage in your life you see peoples true colors and sometimes they are not so pretty. We all have ran into someone like this.
3. You will learn new language and meet new people. This is a given and I think it explains its self. Here's some new words that have some new meanings to me: Bucky (can be used in the form of bucking or bucked? hahah), Dump (Ex. They were being such a dump!), legit (yeah that's legit), trust (Do you trust that food?). And all of these words have come from some amazing people I have met.
4. Time changes-Time is something that can be a great thing and a hidden evil. Within time changing so do people, places, things that seemed so familiar. Unfortunately times will keep changing and we don't know exactly what they will hold. This may be one of the most important things I learned--When this happens the best thing to do sometimes is go with the flow. Don't ask questions.

I have no idea what tomorrow will hold or the next day after that...I do know that time's are changing. This is evident because of last nights event of Osama being dead. TEAM USA. No one knows what the future holds but thats okay take time to enjoy the little things in life.

And because I haven't ended with a quote in a while here is one not from Carrie Bradshaw but from Sex And the City of course.
“I can’t color enough, I would color all day every day If I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box.” - Samantha

Summer on the brain!

Feeling inspired to make a list and since I am taking a 15 minute study break I thought what the heck, why not blog? So this week starts one that I love and hate to see coming at the same time. Finals week. This is pretty much hell week and I hate when it comes because all I tend to do is study. Which can be lame. But thats ok. I love finals week because it means that something is about to end while something new is about to start. Since this finals week is the one before summer vacation, I'm sure you can all guess why I am pumped to push through the three days I have left. With summer on the brain I have been formulating a list of 10 things

(I think I have become list happy thanks to one of my best friends) I want to do before the summer is over. So without further ado here it is.

1. First on my list is something I have been thinking about since I watched Eat Pray Love.
Read a book. It has been i don't even know how long since I sat down to read a book that I wasn't forced to and actually enjoy it.


2. Get a new swim suit. Fortunately this can be checked off my list because I've already bought two new ones.. I think I have become a little obsessed.


3. To go along with my new swim suits the third thing on my summer list is workout. Now I'm not doing this because I need to lose weight I'm doing this for me. I want to be in shape and be healthy and if your tone along the way well that helps too!;)  After having this past semester be full of nothing but sickness I've realized its time to kick my immune system into gear. 


4. Bake. What I don't know but I love baking things especially cupcakes. Although when I bake they come out of the box I would love to attempt to make them from scratch. 


5.Slip and Slide. It's been a couple of years since I have done this. A group of my friends did this during Freshmen year and I miss those times :(


6. Go to Washington D.C.  Although I have come to the conclusion this will sadly not happen this summer I want it to happen within the next four years.


7.Visit the Zoo.  I always love going to the zoo. I'm a child at heart in case you haven't noticed.


8.Go out with friends and just have fun. I think this explains itself. 


9.Get my tan on. Although this is not healthy for my skin it calms me down and is essential to my summer.


10. I have been convinced within the last 5minutes to go to Little Italy. It may be the closest thing to Italy I can get in the next few years.

The Hopeless Romantic lives on

Over the course of the past few days I've been thinking a lot about love and I'm not just talking the love as in  what Kate and Prince William are  experiencing I mean love in general. So many times the word love just gets thrown around. But what in the world does it truly mean? Looking for something to listen to earlier I found this song which I think says it perfect:
"It's in the eyes of the children
As they leave for the very first time
And it's in the heart of the soldier
As he takes a bullet on the front line
It's in the face of a mother
As she takes the force of a blow
And it's in the hands of the father yeah
As he works his fingers to the bone yeah

I'm standing under a white flag oh
Can you see me oh, can you see me oh
I'm standing for everything we have oh
Can you hear me oh, can you hear me

This is why we do it this is worth the pain
This is why we bow down and get back up again
This is where the heart lies, this is from above
Love is this, this is love

Love is why we do it love is worth the pain
Love is why we fall down, get back up again
Love is where the heart lies love is from above
Love is this, this is love

This is love (x3)

It's in the soul of a city
What it does after it crumbles and burns
And it's in the blood of a hero
To know where he goes he may never return yeah

I'm standing under a white flag oh
Can you see me oh, can you see me oooh
I'm standing for everything we have oh
Can you hear me oh, can you hear me

This is why we do it this is worth the pain
This is why we bow down, get back up again
This is where the heart lies this is from above
Love is this, this is love
Love is why we do it love is worth the pain
Love is why we fall down, get back up again
Love is where the heart lies love is from above
Love is this, this is love

This is love, this is love...

If you could be anywhere that you wanted to be
With anyone that you wanted to be with
Do anything that you wanted to do
What would it be and who would it be with you
Time flies but you're the pilot
It moves real fast but you're the driver
You may crash and burn sometimes

This is why we do it this is worth the pain
This is where we bow down get back up again
This is where the heart lies this is from above
Love is this, this is love
Love is why we do it, love is worth the pain
Love is why we fall down get back up again
Love is where the heart lies love is from above
Love is this, this is love"

- The Script (great band btw)


Let's be honest tho. I'm one of those hopeless romantics.. According to Urban Dictionary I'm this... This person is in love with love.They believe in fairy tales and love.They're not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that's not what a hopeless romantic is.

(found this on google)

Sounds about right.. I'm in love with love. And guess what I'm okay with that. (Lesson # 45 love what/who you love.)Who isn't obsessed with the Royal Wedding which btw I would probably be watching if it didn't start at 4am and I didn't have a final the next day. I also love a lot of other things some to name a few..family, friends, small simple gestures, food. What is it that you love?  


And P.s. I love Sex and the City..." Thanks for the ride Prince Charming"- Carrie Bradshaw

My love's the ivy, my love's forget-me-nots, my love's the silver and bordeaux

So this post is going to be a little different from my usual ones. Tonight ended the Greek Week events for this year. Tonight was one of the biggest events called lip synch. For those of you who don't know lip synch is basically a routine that usually has a theme that your lip singing to. This event  was put on by our St.Jude board. Together we raised a ton of money. Get it AU.  Tonight was a little scary. Going in, our chapter was the first to perform, which is always nerve wrecking. But we kicked butt. So did all the other chapters. Although Greek Week has been a stressful time I have learned a few things.
1. Sisters are forever. (whether blood or sorority)

(Here's a picture of my 2 sisters, that I love Oh so much we have had so many memories and although we fight I would NEVER EVER not want you in my life. You have helped me through a lot and I love you for that. Where's the moon? ;) )

2. There will be someone there to pick you up when your down.
Here's a link to our fabulous performance! I am proud of each and everyone of my sisters, whether they were on stage on in the crowd. We rocked it..Who are we??....ALPHA PHI (I'm just a bill... yeah that was me waving and holding a sign) Tonight has made me realize that I have created friendships that will last a life time.
Alpha Phi Epsilon Alpha lip synch2011
AOE and in me
Frankie

Did you know that a carrot has a core?

So bored and once again being the college kid that I am I am in the middle of procrastinating. So I thought what the heck why not blog? So here is my attempt at procrastinating and letting you all know some random info.


1.) Did you know a carrot has a core?
 I had no idea I learned this last night at dinner. Lesson #17 you learn something new everyday. Let's be honest, I also googled it. It turns out its true although the core can be hard to find there is one. I also found out that a baby carrot really isn't a baby carrot.


2.) Nature's way into tricking people into reproducing...LOVE
- That is the definition that Urban dictionary has given me. Makes sense if your cynical about love. I don't know why this has been on my mind lately. Love letters have been filling the brain. I was in class the other day and my friend was telling me how her and her boyfriend were close to their two years of being together. She told me that she was writing 737 ( I think this adds up to specifically how many days they have or will be together)things that she loves about him and is then going to give it to him. I looked at her with this blank stare on my face, and then she showed me the pages filled with all the little things he has done that she loves. She was up to 500 something, by the time we were done with that class.. she had hit 600. I find this absolutely adorable. Lesson # 36 It's the little things that count.


3.) True life: Home is where the heart is
-  While away at college I realize there are somethings that I miss. Home cooked food, someone to help me whenever I needed it, volleyball, musicals. I mention the first two because they are obvious I mention the next two because...volleyball we will get there in a second.. musicals well my high school is putting on there musical this weekend. Grease. My favorite. I was always involved in the musicals when I was in high school and I absolutely loved it and miss it.


4.) The thing I haven't played for two years...volleyball
- This past week started the event called Greek Week! This is where all Greek sororities and fraternities compete against each other for fun. The other night a sister text me asking if I would go to the rec to help them practice. In the 20 mins that I played I realized two things.. 1. I miss working out working out, yes i walk 3x per week for 30-45 mins but I miss physically working out. It felt good to play volleyball something that at one time I never thought I would miss. I wish I could get motivated to do more physical exercise. 2. As the weeks have gone on I have become closer to some of my sisters. I'm glad to know that although I'm away from home I can have someone there for me to act crazy with or someone to just have a heart to heart with. In this thinking I'm glad I have gone Greek. Hottie Totties!

 AOE 

(Here is a picture from our philanthropy event Red Dress Gala)

Things Happen for one reason or another

Here I am, your typical college student procrastinating.. It's not that I have much to do right at this minute tho and actually I was procrastinating in a way that wasn't Facebook or any other computer distraction. Here I am, knowing summer is right around the corner, cleaning my desk drawer out. Fun right?! hahaha just kidding not so much. So I'm cleaning it out and come across two things a picture and a handwritten note. The picture appeared and I had forgotten it wasn't hanging on the wall until that minute. In the chaos of the past couple of weeks I sat it on my desk because it had fallen down and ended up sticking it in the drawer to keep it from not getting damaged. The picture obviously took me by surprise. Looking at it I noticed the people/person that was in it (one of those people being me obviously). It was a typical photo, summer, my hair was a hot mess, but I had this huge smile on my face. The other person in the picture seemed happy too. Moving into the back of my drawer I found some papers paper clipped together. Curious as to what was in this large stack I started going through the papers. And the first one I came across was a handwritten note. One that frankly I had forgotten was in there until I saw it. It too had a connection with the summer. Instantly memories came flooding back. I'm just throwing it out there that a handwritten note/letter has a lot of meaning and I think we can all agree its the best feeling in the world when you get one, especially if it says something like I love you.

(found this image here)

After finding this note, I got to thinking how out of style writing real letters are. How no one does it anymore. I find it sad. Here's a lesson to all you men out there, want to be on your girls good side? Write her a letter. If she is a hopeless romantic like myself and any other girl I know she will love it.

Back to my original story tho, (sorry I got a little off topic) My point is that I think things happen for a reason. The picture and note popped out of no where. (Maybe it was the higher power above or maybe it was just  a coincidence) either way I think it happened for a reason. A reason to remind me that people enter and exit our life all the time (I think I've gone over this lesson b4). I think this happened to not let me forget all the good memories associated with it. And now I think I'm to the point where I'm rambling so..

“I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.”- Carrie Bradshaw  :)