To Be Continued

Well blogging world it is exactly 2:50 am. How am I awake you ask well I'm back on midnights which means I don't sleep like a normal person. So for the post instead of telling you what adventures I had and what went on for the week, I'm continuing my story that I started a couple of weeks ago. (Clears throat..) And so the boy was set to leave in June. From that moment on the boy and girl spent all their time together. Had countless movie nights and late night Taco Bell runs. Then the day came for her to graduate. So she did and after graduation she had a cookout for her family he came with his best friend. The girl and boy pretended like nothing was happening avoided the topic of conversation that they both knew was coming all to soon. He came back later they hung out and when he left plans were made to meet in the morning. She woke up that morning scared to death broke out into tears from the moment she opened her eyes. So she woke up got dressed and prepared for the day ahead. She received a text from him not long after she awoke saying he would be there. She couldn't look at him when he arrived. She let him in and instantly walked the other way saying she had to grab something for the first goodbye was coming. He hugged her mom and she listened from the other room as her mom told him to be safe. And so then they were off. There wasn't much talking in the car. They both understood each other as they sat in the back seat, he grabbed her hand and both knew no words needed to be said. They stopped at his grandmas before heading to place where goodbye would take place. She watched as more goodbyes came and still he remained so strong. Finally they reached the spot and they all got out of the car knowing what was a minute closer to happening. There were a few small things that happened in that short period of time and then it was really time. Time to say goodbye she let his parents go first again avoiding what she didn't want to happen. Then it was her turn and she broke. The tears didn't stop that day. She would pull herself together and then fall right back apart. She did know however that she had things to look forward to like possible phone calls, letters, and his Graduation. From that day on she wrote to him everyday. When she received the first letter she was ecstatic. The excitement never changed and it built as the days wore off and it was one step closer to seeing him Graduate. She went in August a few days before her first year of college to see him Graduate with his parents. They drove the whole way filling the car with so many conversations. The night they arrived she missed a phone call. She waited by her phone and sure enough it rang again. It was him. The next day bright and early they all woke up and waited in the bleachers to see him and what he had become, a soldier. They looked and looked and it was so hard to spot him. Finally when the family and friends were finally let out of the bleachers to see their loved ones she was the one that spotted him and pointed him out. They got to him and the girl felt very shy and had no idea how to act (A feeling that would always accompany her when she was waiting to see him). All she remembers is him asking "Are you alright?" and then them hugging. That day was filled with laughter and love and so was the next until they all had to say goodbye. It was avoided again until that very minute and the girl received a kiss that she thought would never end. They left but she had something to look forward to him coming home in a couple months. And so as time went on the boy went to training in Arizona they skyped every night. Called each other and sent goodmorning and goodnight texts. Things were rough but anytime he came home she was there. Everytime it was like no time had been lost. The boy's training ended and he was sent to Germany where he currently is. They had more then one breakup in that time and things continued to get more rough. He doesn't know when he will be home next two three years. She has school she couldn't leave and just move to Germany. Two different paths. And although there are some huge details missing in this story the girl finally is starting to get it.
He loves her and she loves him but being in another country with out physical contact without knowing when he will be home next it can't work. He was the type who wouldn't want to hold her back. However he wouldn't want to see or hear her upset. She realized that although crying was her way of dealing it probably made things worse in other ways. When your in the Army it comes first and you follow what they say. If the army tells you you're going to be there longer then planned then you don't argue with the Army. You follow their orders no matter what no matter what you're feeling because in the Army there are no feelings and you have to eventually train yourself not to care or atleast train yourself into thinking so. When you join the Army you become the Army. (Please don't misunderstand this as me saying the Army is a bad thing, I'm not. I support each and everyone of the men and women who fight for our country. They are probably some of the strongest people I know.  I thank them for my freedom.) Even through all the bad the girl still loves the boy and although she doesn't know what he wants or if it will all work out she knows that she loves him enough that she wants him to be happy as well as herself.

My apologies

Now because it is now Sunday and I promised to post of Tuesday well I'm sorry about that. (P.s. this is gonna have to be kinda short for now)So on to other things, I finally got my tattoo. I love it! Not going to lie it was easily one of the worst pain I've ever felt. Luckily I didn't cry I was a champ! So after 2 hrs this is what I had...Maybe I'll get a better picture after it heals that way you can see the color.

10 Things I Hate about You

I hate the way you talk to me, 

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car, 

I hate it when you stare. 

I hate your big dumb combat boots 

and the way you read my mind. 

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme. 

I hate the way you’re always right, 

I hate it when you lie. 

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry. 

I hate it when you’re not around, 

and the fact that you didn’t call. 

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, 

not even close…

not even a little bit… 

not even at all. 

Change is a good thing

Remember that change I was mentioning in my last post? Well its evident that it is in fact present. Today I went to the tattoo shop and when I walked out I was surprised at how confident I had answered their questions. When they asked "When would you like to do it?" I replied with "When is the soonest I can?" Yeah and so I go Tuesday to get my first tattoo and I am super nervous and yet excited.  So until Tuesday, See ya!

Eventful?..check yes

This week/weekend has been full of nothing but events and so I decided why not blog about them.
Starting the list at number 1 (lets get the not so hot stuff out of the way first)..Lately My health hasn't been up to par. I've lost some weight(how I have no idea, it's been a really touchy subject.) My coworkers and others have commented on it and one went as far as to ask me if I was anorexic. This is something I don't handle well, I never have. Freshmen year, I was really thin just from going through normal bodily changes and I was asked this question frequently. Let's just say it didn't help my self esteem and when asked that again, it kinda cut deep. I've been having issues with my stomach. The other day It was cramping horribly and it made me sick to my stomach. I was told to stop taking the antibiotic that I was on and that the severe pain would go away in a few days. That was Monday it's now Saturday. So the doctor is going to be receiving another call asap. Anyone have any de-stressing tips?

On a more happy note my cousin's wedding was today. It was beautiful, the wedding was small and intimate, with only immediate family.  The reception was wonderful. The couples first dance started off slow and then out of now where they busted out dancing to some more crazy up beat songs. While watching the dance, I just kept thinking, OMG at my wedding that is so happening! How wonderful of an event it is to find someone who completes you. Not just some of you but all of you. Someone who can see you at your worst and yet still love you, all of you. It is that kind of love that I want and I think deserve(everyone does) in my life.

Lately I find myself growing as a person. Maybe that sounded odd but the more I think about it the more I find it to be completely true. I find myself becoming stronger in situations. I find myself not crying over everything but just the things that need to be cried over (if that makes any sense). I also find myself standing up for myself, saying things a year ago I wouldn't have said. Things I would have been to intimidated to say. The last thing I found myself doing specifically this weekend. Being spontaneous. This spontaneous moment is going to happen tomorrow when I am supposed to be talking to someone about doing my tattoo...(Which I know some people won't be happy about but Ugly Truth moment, you can't please everyone. In most situations you shouldn't please everyone you should please yourself. Be happy.Be you.)

Now because it's 11 and I'm still trying to get off my midnight shift sleeping habits I'm off to bed. I apologize for the grammatical errors, On my road to becoming a teacher maybe one day I'll take it upon myself to practice re-correcting all of my blog entries.
Goodnight blogging world.

Do you ever feel like you're a noodle in God's soup?

Hello again Bloggers,
 So after rereading my last post I realized there were a lot of grammatical errors.EEK please forgive me. So on this lovely Saturday I'm currently stuck inside. I would love to be soaking up the sun in my pool but currently I must stay out of the sun..Booo. But I refuse to let that ruin my week. Referring back to my last post I don't think its time to tell you more of the story. Don't worry all in good time I will tho..soon. So let's recap on my week. Hmmm Let's see I received an apology, one that frankly I wasn't expecting and am glad it was said(although it wasn't said to my face and just in a message) I still appreciated it. However after this apology I feel like I'm back at square one. That's about the major things going on besides work. Good news I spotted my dad looking at puppies online twice this week.  My friends came over last weekend and it was seriously what I needed. While hanging out with my friends, one asked the question, "Frankie, do you ever feel like you're just a noodle in God's soup." and my reply was "uhm well I never thought of it like that."  Of course she continued with, "I always wondered what soup he had like is it Chicken Noodle? Vegetable?" then we laughed at the ridiculous things she was saying because neither of us are super religious. I guess when I thought about it she could be right maybe we are all just like some noodle in a higher power's soup. This week I have also decided I want a tattoo and my sisters must drive me to the shop and I'm sure they are gonna have to drag me out of the car when we get there. I'm super scared, I know it will hurt like a few choice words that are not lady like to say(It's the worst spot to get a tattoo pain wise). I'm getting it on my side. People are telling me to do something small and then get the one I want later. Here's the problem I don't want anything else and having it on my side is the best place for me because it can be hidden. I'll have to blog on my experience when it happens here's my thought on it. 1. You only live once 2.When I'm 75 it won't matter I'll be wrinkly anyhow and possibly fat, so why care. 3. I don't drink or do drugs and if this is the "first bad thing" I've done and I'm almost 20 I think I'm doing pretty darn good.
Well Bloggers I'm sure your tired of my ramblings so Have a great day!
p.s. Anyone have a Nook? I'm really thinking of getting one but I can't decide

A story..

It all started with a cupcake and a trip to Washington D.C. So starting the story from the beginning it happened to be pie day 3.14 of junior year. The students were told to bring in a circular dish or dessert. One girl happened to bring cupcakes. It wasn't long into the class when another class snuck in and took some desserts. A cupcake happened to be taken, by a boy. He raved about these cupcakes even so much as to say this over the loud speaker when he did the morning announcements " Come see Little Shop of Horrors this weekend. I hear (insert girl's name here) is a sexy nurse and if she can dance like she can make cupcakes it's sure to be a hit." And so from that point a simple message on myspace to the girl saying how he had heard how embarrassed she that morning was sent. Later fate would make their paths cross again, this time on a class trip to Washington D.C. The trip was a week or two and maybe two days into the trip the boy had become the girl's walking buddy. He got up enough courage when everyone was waiting in a line to go into Ford's theater, to stop his teacher in the middle of his sentence saying, "Hold on one minute," walked over to the girl and asked for her phone number. The teacher replied with "Nice." From that point the girl and boy constantly sent texts throughout the trip. When the trip was over they started hanging out,went to prom together, and eventually started dating. Everything was grand a fight here or there but most nights were filled with going out to dinner, having a night in watching movies, playing some video games. Then one day in January the boy came to the girl's house with papers. Papers that needed to be decided to be signed or not papers to join the US Army. He wanted her opinion and all she could do was cry. He told her it would be okay and that right now it was just a thought. So they went on and he eventually signed the papers and had to report to memphs to actually make a full commitment. That night the boy text her throughout the night asking what he should do if he should sign the papers or not. As much as she wanted to say no she couldn't she knew that there was a chance they wouldn't be together in the future and if that happened she didn't want to hold him back. She didn't tell him yes and she didn't tell him no. She said she would support him either way. When he came back the next day he pulled out a card that showed he had enlisted. I don't know what the girl's reaction was, other then she still couldn't believe he actually did it. He was set to leave in June the day after she Graduated.
And blogging world this story will have to be continued bc this girl has to get to work.

growl.bark.growl.

After a long weekend of being busy, I'm pooped and not wanting to go to work later tonight.  I can feel my pessimistic side kicking in and to stop it I've decided I will list three things that have made me feel good today.
1. My hair is looking pretty darn good today.
2.I love my outfit today it makes me feel confident.
3.And this one although didn't happen today happened this weekend.. I received the compliment of being smart,cute, and creative.
 This is probably the most boring post ever but all well It's just me(which means it's not to boring) and being me is all I can be!:)

You are my Sunshine...My Only Sunshine

You know that saying...when it rains it pours, well thats exactly how I feel like the past 2 weeks have been for me. Recently my dog has been acting odd I guess you could say. I won't go into detail with what has been happening because it's something know one wants details about. Let's just say it ended up yesterday she went to the vet and had to have surgery. My dad was to call the vet today and pick her up and see how she was doing. Well he called, she wasn't doing well. Apparently he called again and she really wasn't doing well still. I had went shopping came back home and my dad told me she wasn't coming home. I find myself sad, I didn't think I was capable of crying anymore this week but apparently i am. Now she wasn't really my dog we got her back in fifth grade and I wasn't able to go pick her out. I know I'm sad because I will miss her, I mean although she wasn't mine she part of the family and I'll miss her sleeping in my room and hearing her collar jangle as she walked down the hallway in the morning. I think I'm also upset because I've been rather cranky with my dad today and when he told me she wasn't coming home the look of being lost was written all over his face and I didn't know how to respond. Ugh and well if you haven't guessed it the Ugly Truth of the day is things die figuratively and literally. On a more brighter note I was talking to someone who I went to school with and hadn't talked to since junior year because he had moved. We were just catching up and talking about all random sorts of things. And while talking (bet you can guess what one topic of conversation was) he said this "you never know what can happen, that's the thing about love it's really unexpected." And although I swear he quoted that from some movie or song, he was totally right. I have come to realize that although it may not feel like it now and I can feel my heart saying, "Don't you dare open up to anyone for a while. Don't you dare chance going through heart break again." love will find its way back in to my heart, yes I may go through some more heart ache and complete confusion, but thats life and you have to let it take its course. Do I still love my ex..yes and he told me he still loves me the problem is there is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I guess my point is at one point I'm gonna have to risk it all...again.. and it may not be right away but that happiness and love will find its way into my life, I have to believe that.
RIP Kristy Love Sunshine <3

Sadly..

Today this is how I'm feeling.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”-Neil Gaiman
But don't worry I see the sun on the horizon;)