A story..

It all started with a cupcake and a trip to Washington D.C. So starting the story from the beginning it happened to be pie day 3.14 of junior year. The students were told to bring in a circular dish or dessert. One girl happened to bring cupcakes. It wasn't long into the class when another class snuck in and took some desserts. A cupcake happened to be taken, by a boy. He raved about these cupcakes even so much as to say this over the loud speaker when he did the morning announcements " Come see Little Shop of Horrors this weekend. I hear (insert girl's name here) is a sexy nurse and if she can dance like she can make cupcakes it's sure to be a hit." And so from that point a simple message on myspace to the girl saying how he had heard how embarrassed she that morning was sent. Later fate would make their paths cross again, this time on a class trip to Washington D.C. The trip was a week or two and maybe two days into the trip the boy had become the girl's walking buddy. He got up enough courage when everyone was waiting in a line to go into Ford's theater, to stop his teacher in the middle of his sentence saying, "Hold on one minute," walked over to the girl and asked for her phone number. The teacher replied with "Nice." From that point the girl and boy constantly sent texts throughout the trip. When the trip was over they started hanging out,went to prom together, and eventually started dating. Everything was grand a fight here or there but most nights were filled with going out to dinner, having a night in watching movies, playing some video games. Then one day in January the boy came to the girl's house with papers. Papers that needed to be decided to be signed or not papers to join the US Army. He wanted her opinion and all she could do was cry. He told her it would be okay and that right now it was just a thought. So they went on and he eventually signed the papers and had to report to memphs to actually make a full commitment. That night the boy text her throughout the night asking what he should do if he should sign the papers or not. As much as she wanted to say no she couldn't she knew that there was a chance they wouldn't be together in the future and if that happened she didn't want to hold him back. She didn't tell him yes and she didn't tell him no. She said she would support him either way. When he came back the next day he pulled out a card that showed he had enlisted. I don't know what the girl's reaction was, other then she still couldn't believe he actually did it. He was set to leave in June the day after she Graduated.
And blogging world this story will have to be continued bc this girl has to get to work.

growl.bark.growl.

After a long weekend of being busy, I'm pooped and not wanting to go to work later tonight.  I can feel my pessimistic side kicking in and to stop it I've decided I will list three things that have made me feel good today.
1. My hair is looking pretty darn good today.
2.I love my outfit today it makes me feel confident.
3.And this one although didn't happen today happened this weekend.. I received the compliment of being smart,cute, and creative.
 This is probably the most boring post ever but all well It's just me(which means it's not to boring) and being me is all I can be!:)

You are my Sunshine...My Only Sunshine

You know that saying...when it rains it pours, well thats exactly how I feel like the past 2 weeks have been for me. Recently my dog has been acting odd I guess you could say. I won't go into detail with what has been happening because it's something know one wants details about. Let's just say it ended up yesterday she went to the vet and had to have surgery. My dad was to call the vet today and pick her up and see how she was doing. Well he called, she wasn't doing well. Apparently he called again and she really wasn't doing well still. I had went shopping came back home and my dad told me she wasn't coming home. I find myself sad, I didn't think I was capable of crying anymore this week but apparently i am. Now she wasn't really my dog we got her back in fifth grade and I wasn't able to go pick her out. I know I'm sad because I will miss her, I mean although she wasn't mine she part of the family and I'll miss her sleeping in my room and hearing her collar jangle as she walked down the hallway in the morning. I think I'm also upset because I've been rather cranky with my dad today and when he told me she wasn't coming home the look of being lost was written all over his face and I didn't know how to respond. Ugh and well if you haven't guessed it the Ugly Truth of the day is things die figuratively and literally. On a more brighter note I was talking to someone who I went to school with and hadn't talked to since junior year because he had moved. We were just catching up and talking about all random sorts of things. And while talking (bet you can guess what one topic of conversation was) he said this "you never know what can happen, that's the thing about love it's really unexpected." And although I swear he quoted that from some movie or song, he was totally right. I have come to realize that although it may not feel like it now and I can feel my heart saying, "Don't you dare open up to anyone for a while. Don't you dare chance going through heart break again." love will find its way back in to my heart, yes I may go through some more heart ache and complete confusion, but thats life and you have to let it take its course. Do I still love my ex..yes and he told me he still loves me the problem is there is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I guess my point is at one point I'm gonna have to risk it all...again.. and it may not be right away but that happiness and love will find its way into my life, I have to believe that.
RIP Kristy Love Sunshine <3

Sadly..

Today this is how I'm feeling.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”-Neil Gaiman
But don't worry I see the sun on the horizon;)

Going? Staying?

 I'm pretty sure I posted this picture before but it is exactly right, an Ugly truth that maybe when you think about it ends up not being so ugly.

My ending quote, one from Chris Rock "If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love."

Inspiration for the day

"I have faith that God will show you the answer. But you have to understand that sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize what God wants you to do. That's how it often is. God's voice is usually nothing more than a whisper, and you have to listen very carefully to hear it. But other times, in those rarest of moments, the answer is obvious and rings as loud as a church bell." 
-Nicholas Sparks: The Last Song

Symbolism at it's finest

(I will admit I took this off FB but i got right off
and didn't bother looking in my news feed)

Hello blogging world we meet again. And that could become more frequent in at least these next two days. With everything going on  I decided it be best to take a few days away from Facebook, to hold true to this I need to find something to keep my attention. I'm not sure if it's because of the things going on that while reflecting this weekend I see symbolism in everything I do or if its just fate. So let's recap. I'll finally just say it.. a relationship is finally over and it's not easy for me, I don't know what exactly to think or feel.  It was big, one day maybe I'll share the relationship with the blogging world because when it was good it was more then good. So last night bored out of my mind and trying to stay busy I text some friends and made plans. Hanging out with one friend turned into hanging out with two more. We went to the Relay For Life, took a few laps (somehow I spotted luminaries for my grandparents out of everyone), shared a few laughs, and gossiped of course and headed back to my friend's house. The plan was to play Just Dance and then my OSU Party friend brought out a game that she had played at school. It's called Quelf and can I just say BEST game ever. Now I don't really know how to explain this game other then you draw cards (there are like 5 different kinds with different categories) and you simply do what the card says..sounds boring but let me tell you I had to talk in a Darth Vader voice every time it was my friend's turn talking about the dark side, I did a belly dance. Had my hair messed up by all my friend's(of course they got to move spots if they messed it up), and had fun. Now this is my second encounter with symbolism this weekend because normally I wouldn't just let go like that and act crazy, I mean I have fun with my friends all the time but i never act this crazy. It's safe to say I had fun.
After getting home after 2 am I was pooped and yet I don't think I slept at all last night I was up at 6:30 and laid there going over everything that had happened the past few days..the past two years. And I cried. Like a baby actually. The past couple of days I've been urged not to cry and I've been holding it back a lot. This is why my first Ugly Truth comes that crying may look ugly and sound it (we all know that uuuuhhhh sound and shiver your body gets when you're trying to stop crying but you can't because you're crying so hard.) but it's totally ok and human to do. So after laying in bed crying for what seemed like a very long time I decided I needed to get up and do something. I got up, put some shorts on, grabbed my old ipod with old music I had from before this relationship and headed to the reservoir. It looked like it was going to storm but it was nice and breezy and i needed out.  In a way I guess it did storm because while I was there I think I let out every emotion that I had been feeling the past few days. You name it I probably felt it. And so in a way it did rain. While running/ walking a few things happened.
1. Every single person I passed while running or walking, said hello or good morning even if they had music in, which made my day.
2. Every song seemed to have some form of symbolism. Here's what played:
 a. Dangerous- Akon. (Seemed so fitting for this girl who started out walking/running the reservoir with a mission)
b.All Around me-Flyleaf (Need I explain this)
c. All over you-Spill Canvas
d.Almost lover-Fine Frenzy
3. I even felt fear and running from it. At one point I passed a flock of Geese. They were hissing. I ran like the wind enough said.
4. When I got into my car I heard this song...
"Love Don't Run"-Steve Holy
This is gonna hurt, this is gonna hurt like hell
This is gonna damn near kill me, sometimes the truth aint easy
I know that you’re scared of telling me something
I don’t wanna hear, but baby believe that
I’m not leaving, you couldn’t give me one good reason


yeah and after that I bawled and then Somewhere with You came on by Kenny Chesney. I don't exactly know what all of this means I'm still confused and still hurt(another Ugly truth) but I know that in the end it will be ok, if it's not ok it's not the end. I am refusing to accept anything less for myself